Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind

so i guess the answer is NO. Pfft.


Abang Aslam TEYL called this "withdrawal syndrome"
the kind of symptom you have when you stop taking a drug.


for me. you were the drug.
and now you're gone.
gone with the wind.


only, the effects are too late.
the effects are reoccuring.
the effects are haunting me again, lingering in my mind,
unwilling to kiss it goodbye.


the effects of you (the drug) and your withdrawal from me. my life.


i need "the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"


damn. its the wheather. and the damn blogwalking.
they brought me back to you.
i need to forget you.
its been a while already, isnt it?
how time flies, it feels like yesterday when i heard you say,
"the feeling is no longer there"


so today.
i've cleared it all.


your Raya card.
the key-chain wiv my name on ?(custom made!)
the teddy bear
the yellow tshirt
the pink shoes (oh, not this one. i still wear them to class)
all your pictures in my PC
the book i listed down our baby names
the so-so poetry i wrote for you
even your phone number ( but i cant seem to forget it tho)
i deleted you from my 8pax
i practically deleted, erased, threw away
everything
and yea
your facebook account. i'm sorry. i have to remove you.


i've get rid of all that
get
rid
all


and this blog. initially. it was written for you.
but its whats left of me, and i wont let it go.


whatever.pfft!


Because I'm not your princess, it's ain't a fairy tale, I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well.


i cant delete you from my memory. i wish, like Abg Awalludinn TEYL said, for a goddamn machine technology like the one in kate winslet's "the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"

but then again
you're my first love memory. its precious. and will always be.

how can i ever let it just go down the drain?

and people, they'll always remember me, as a part of you. they still do.

now i dunno what i want.



someone once asked me if i want you ever come back, will i want you too.
no. the answer is no and it aint a guess.


moral: dont blogwalk. u'll start reminiscing. haha. and yeah..APPRECIATE your loved ones.


love those who love thee.