This One From Me

Anis.

She’s like an older sister to me.

Yes I know that makes you feel old Anis, but let’s face it: Agnes will always be the bff and Sam and I are tag team and you, you’re the older sister.

That’s because you don’t tell everything to an older sister, until that everything screwed up.

For the record, I don’t have a sister.

It all started when I added Anis on Facebook, you know, because she was one of our super-duper seniors who just got back from UUM. Well, I had to add her anyways, because I was adding all the other male ones—and it would be too obvious that I was trying to do a final year senior. For some unknown reason those final year male seniors were so hot, they were almost as hot as the new female juniors. Ha-ha, not funny.

Then, on Facebook, Anis and I talked about some books—yes books, being the bookworms that we were—and I agreed to lend her this book. She woke up late and was in a towel rushing to the bathroom when she first noticed me. It was like love at first sight I guess.

Me? I didn’t notice her at all,

I mean, even in the towel she was no Eva Mendes you know.

Then we got close. I bored her with stories of my very boring love lives, she excited me with hers, we talked a lot, we went back from our hometown together, had breakfasts, watched football, ate cucoq, gossiped, bitched about the people around us, went out at night, drove aimlessly around the island, played boring card games at Seagate, went out a lot, stayed up studying (more Facebooking), went for facial treatments, I braided her hair...blah blah blah and the list just goes on.

We even became stalkers. I’m talking Facebook-stalking and real life we-drove-around-your-neighbourhood-checking-out-your-house kind of stalking.

Actually, it hurts me that I have to write all that in past tense.

The truth is, actually, is that I never really open up to her on some stuffs. Not that I don’t trust her. Not that I mind her knowing. But maybe because we had such a good time, I don’t want to spoil the moment of bliss. Maybe because I was looking to her as a sister, and you don’t really tell everything to an older sister until things begin to fall apart and screw up. And older sister is always a best friend.

And that day when I texted her, it was because I screwed up. It was because I suddenly realised that I have become a mess.

Now here’s the part where I don’t know what else to write and I don’t know why I write this in the first place. Anyway, all I’m saying is that I appreciate her in my life (this is sappy).

I kinda like it a lot when she said we were best friend, and that Sam thinks I am almost like her. I mean, I’d love to be a unique individual and what not but when someone say you’re like a person who is kinda cool, you kinda like it too.  

what a soppy post lol

Study Week

ALL I KNOW IS I'M GOING TO DIE IF I FAIL THIS SEMESTER.

I NEED TO STUDY.

LIKE REALLY STUDY, BEFORE I FLUNK:

1. PHONOLOGY

2. ELT

3. LEARNER AND LEARNING ENVIRONMENT

4.CHILDREN LITERATURE

DAMN I WISH EVERY CLASS FEELS LIKE A FORM 3 SCIENCE CLASS.

YOU KNOW, THE TIME WHEN WE LEARNT THE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM.

#perlukahcapslock?

Only God Can Judge Me Now.

"Only God can judge me now"

Tupac Shakur said it and died.

There was this book that I read called Washington Wives by Maureen Deen. I was in Form 2. It's not really the kind of thing that people read when they were 14, but I picked it up from the shelf at my Gran's. 

It's a good book anyway. Politics, love, sex, scandals. The rat race of life. 

There was this character that I really liked. Her name is Sinclaire. She comes from a poor background---a broken one really. She doesn't know who her father is, and apparently, neither does her mother Ruby. She was born a very very beautiful baby--the most beatiful one the head nurse ever seen. She grows up with in a diner her mother works at. She also grows up gorgeously and beautifully and later became close to the "rich and famous" society in America. 

The thing about Sinclaire is that she is never ashamed of who she is. She is never shy to admit that she is an illegitimate child, let alone feel embarrassed or i don''t know,  has low self esteem about it. When someone mentioned a word she doesn't understand she'd just ask. She isn't afraid if someone is judging her, or whatever. And though she is with the "rich and famous" she does not pretend. 

That's pretty cool.

Many of us pretend and hide and lie and many of us do that because we are so scared of people's judgement. We are so scared of what people may say, or even think.

And exactly why shouldn't we be? We judge people too. We talk about people. Even when what they do don't in a slightest bit have anything got to do with us. 

Let us all change for a bit, eh, for goodness sake? Stop talking about people, stop judging. Yeah, they make mistakes. But so do you, right? So screw them. It's their life. Go take care of your own business. 

And stop caring for what people think, or say. They'll talk and they'll think and they'll judge but all that don't make who you are. Even if it does it only make you stronger. 

Don't Give a Damn.

It's one of those days when I get really bored despite having tons of work to do. And it's also one of those day when I feel like talking to someone but I'd figured nobody could understand me so I resort to writing instead. 

For most of the time writing's better. It's like having someone to listen to you without offering any piece of cliched advice. Now peeps, seriously, to those whom I turned to every time I fall from grace, I highly appreciate your advice. It's just, I've heard it for over a zillion time and even a young and hopeless 20 year old like me can figure that out. 

The one advice that I need, seriously, is,

to not give a damn.

Study Hard vs Play Hard

hello readers of the boring blog. It case you didn't know, yes I am indeed still alive.

Only, life is getting more and more boring each day. 

I've given it a deep thought the other day, and concluded that I am wasting my youth.

Some people study hard and that's their lives and they got great results and that's what they get from their youth. Like Dalwin for example. Or Farah. Dalwin gets first class degree--whatever it means. My aunt has been challenging me to get it too--which I think is rather impossible following how I will flunk Phonology gracefully and gloriously this semester. Man I couldn't stand that. Each class I went with a blur mind, all clueless.

It's like dating a nerd. No, it's like dating Stephen Hawking or Einstein or somebody super genius  when you're super dumb like me and really couldn't get a word off it and you just know that you two don't and can't get along and are not meant to be with one another. 

Anyways, the point is, I do highly respect people who have this great determination to study hard in life. At least their youth don't get wasted like mine. 

Some people, on the other hand, play hard. They meet people, go places. They have fun, they enjoy themselves. Like Anis for example. I think she had a cool student life. She went places, conquered mountains, met friends....and still she graduated happily. See. At least her youth ain't wasted either. At least when she's like 70 and surrounded with grandchildren and great-grandchildren of hers and Remy of course, she'd have something to tell. She'd have a lot to tell, knowing Anis, hahaha. 

Me? I'll just tell them kids I went to class, ate,slept, did assignment, Facebook, and wrote sh** in a miserable blog.

p.s. Following Sam's advice, cewah, I decided to take up something. So, I'm learning to play tennis now with the help of a really nice guy. Kei and the music girls are also helping me with guitar, believe it or not! Did I tell you I also learnt Spanish back then? Time to brush it up you know. 

Gotta start now. I have like 3 more years till teaching. Love!

I'm so going to get it

Allright. It's official. Now I only write about Madam Temperature. Feel like she's the only thing in my mind. 


Well hell yes. She is on my mind all the time.


Thanks for all the works she gives and the comment she adds after the work. Or should I say, the Simon Cowell-ish criticism?


Maybe not Simon Cowell.


Think Gordon Ramsey from Hell's Kitchen minus the swearing. Yes, that.


I know I've been through this kind of people since primary up to secondary school and people like Madam Temperature are among those I am most thankful now for who I am (a miserable teacher trainee?), but that was before.


I was a child. Now I'm 20 years and 11 days. In 354 days I turn 21. I'll be allowed to vote in this country. And when I am granted the right to vote, do I listen to some babbling or some shitty political rubbish?


It's 10.40 now.


Less than one hour to Madam Temperature's lecture/babble. I am so doomed. 


Earphone. Check.
Rock songs/ Adele/Amy Winehouse. Check.


I'm so going to get it. 

madam temperature.

Gua kena bebel ngan madam temperature tadi. hangin satu badan beliau menatap wajah gua tadi. macam nak dicekik-cekiknya gua. mulutnya pula secara tidak langsung pot pet pot pet ngo ngo ngo berleter ala-ala david letterman kepada gua. madam temperature ni cukup tak sopistikated orangnya kalau bab-bab mencaci maki orang ni. 

tapi gua buat relax dan membuat muka no sweat sahaja sambil dalam kepala otak gua berkumandang lagu Nothing Else Matters dari Metallica. sesekali gua mengutarakan sedikit tak banyak senyuman yang manis dan angguk-angguk kepada beliau tanda tidak mahu melawan. gua bukan apa, nak mengekalkan rekod 9 tahun tidak melawan gua.

gua dah lali dengan bebelan ni...kamon la madam temperature, kalau gua baru darjah 3, boleh la anda bebel pada gua mengikut sesedap rasa anda. Mungkin ada sikit efek. Mungkin gua akan cair dengan bebelan anda dan terasa hati. Mungkin jugak gua akan berubah dan tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan tersebut kerana takut mendengar bebelan dan leteran anda. Kalau anda tak membebel, anda menyanyi boleh jugak. Namun lagu tu harus la yang sesuai yang bersesuaian dengan jiwa raga gua.

tapi umur gua dah 20 tahun 5 hari. gua dah tak makan bebelan seme dah. kalau gua di tempat anda, lama dah gua cakap,

"Lu pikirlah sendiri" 

So I'm 20.

What's that supposed to mean? Big deal. I feel old. 


I woke up early today. Slept at 4 and woke up at 7, not wanting to waste the day I start the second decade of my life. I precisely remember the last decade, when I turned 10. I read somewhere that in Islam, children who died before the age of 10 would go to heaven. I wished I die then. Silly me.


Anyways, this is the second birthday away from home #tears. I miss my mom. She's the only reason why I am still here. Without her there wouldn't be a 20 year old me. There wouldn't be a one year old me at all.


Damn I feel old. But still I miss Ummi. Love.

Hell Week Part 2

aku tengah layan citer Indon dalam tibi ni...ni seme member aku si sam bikini bottom la punya pasai...eksaited sangat dengan karakter yang bernama Milo..aku kecik-kecik pun tak sebegitu teruja dengan nama Spongebob atau Power Rangers.


Dalam dua minggu ni kehidupan aku dah jadi tak tentu arah...kacau-bilau, bercelaru, diperkotak-katikkan..kalau stakat keje assignment je takpelah..ni tidak..keje2 luar kurikulum, dalam kurikulum, atas kurikulum, kerja-kerja free tak bergaji, semua ada bertimbun-timbun. 


keje punya pasai..bola pun sanggup aku abaikan..cis..rugi betul semalam aku tak tengok manchester united kalahkan si chelshit tu...huh...


aku tak tau laa..malam ni aku harus berjuang demi masa depan lagi..huh pe najis ayat..last-last berfacebook je keje..scene facebook skrang memang dah makin menjadi-jadi..semalam je gua nampak sorg budak ni, pakai tudung gaye hana tajima, mulut muncung., buat peace, posing background depan kubur...siap buat display picture facebook lagi....haih bingke betul...


ok la aku nak sambung layan citer telenovela plak..

Wrong Train!

"The next train leaves at 3.30".

I stood, looking at my aunt and grandmother. The ticket to KL was already in my hand, I got it for a mere 6 bucks. Pretty cheap for an adventure.

"You know," I said to my aunt, "You really don't have to wait till I leave."

There were many reasons to why I said that. First one was because she had an appointment somewhere, and I didn't want her to be late. I also felt like a child with her and Gran waiting with me there. Lastly because I'd feel sad to see them leaving when I get into the train. Funny how it made me feel that way everytime, everytime I see someone leave I have this heavy feeling, this ache in my heart, even though I know, if God wills,  I am going to see them again.

"All right then. Good luck with your adventure."

She gave me a warm hug, and Gran did, too, before we went our separate ways. 

So there I was, alone, dragging luggage, keep checking for my ticket. That's the thing I worry most. Not money, not handphone. I freaked out once in an aerotrain to KLIA, because I thought I lost my passports and boarding pass. It left me traumatised the whole life. And pickpockets are everywhere they said.

Just minutes later the train arrived, and it stopped right in front of me, as if saying, come on board. Maybe a little exaggeration. I hopped in without thinking, and was a little weird on why was the train to KL was almost empty. I don't know what's so exciting about KL that everyone was going there. I mean, knowing KL, I'd want to go as far from the rat race of the city.

"Is this train heading towards Rawang?"

Finally I managed to gather enough courage to ask the guy in front of me. Just to make sure, you know. To my surprise his answer was no. I sort of see it coming, but keep telling myself it was.

"It's heading to Sg. Gadut."

"So it's going other way around?"

"Err..yes."

"Oh dearest. Now what do I do?"

"You can stop at the next station and cross over to the other side of the station."

"Omo, I took the train at the wrong platform, didn't I? Do you think I have to get a new ticket?"

I didn't know why I ask that, for money was the last thing I worry then.

"Nope."

Then I felt relieved. Ummi surely wouldn't be mad for taking the train--I can take the wrong train and go as far as Singapore if I want, so long as it won't cost me a penny.

The guy was very nice, and cute, and I wondered how someone so cute can be so nice. We got down at Senawang, which was the next station south from Seremban. He even showed me where to take the train to KL. That was really nice of him.

So I was alone again, in Senawang this time, the station all deserted and if someone were to come and mug me they would at least leave with a hundred bucks loaded....

And thank goodness I asked! With my really inadequate Geography knowledge, how on earth would I have guessed that Senawang is actually further away to KL than Seremban?

The last 19 days being 19

what a lame topic.


but who cares. In just a bit I'll turn 20, and it'll never be the same again. It won't even feel the same. I wouldn't know it, I wouldn't see it, but I'll feel it when the time comes. 


You know, like how you feel that 19 is so much different than 18. That kind of thang. 

Selamat Hari Raya

Raya dua tahun lepas...3 hari lepas Raya gua dapat sebuah sampul surat yang cukup membuatkan hati gua berbunga-bunga. Memang dalam hati gua ada taman waktu itu...


Raya setahun lepas..gua dapat panggilan di Malam Raya..gembira jugaklah hati gua bukan kepalang..esoknye tu makan kuih raya sambil diselang-selikan dengan berbalas-balas message..biase lah..


Raya tahun ini...hati gua di mana, gua pun tengah cari..gua tengah google dalam google maps ni..


dah laa..gua lapo..nak g mencekik ni..Tulis blog ni bukan bleh kenyang...selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin..

balik rumah dan selamat hari raya..

setelah gua banyak bersungut dan bersenggugut serta bersesungut tentang Hell Week ini, akhirnya ianya pun berakhir..Alhamdulillah gua berhasil menempuh segala pancaroba dan cabaran minggu ini...

gua tak nak cite pasal kije-kije gua, buat sakit hati je. nak je gua menempik di depan Madame Suhu tu..puiiii...kalau gua cite, mesti boleh mencetuskan demonstrasi di negara timur tengah..

dan yang paling penting seme kesengsaraan itu telah sampai ke titik noktahnya..gua balik rumah der...akhirnya. gua dah kata umah gua memang best dan enjoy malahan lebih best lagi dari fun fair dekat queensbay tu..

ape-apepun gua nak ucapkan selamat hari raya kat seme orang..tak kira la korang sape..gua kenal ke tak kenal ke..selamat hari raya ye...sorry la tahun ni gua raya dekat Paris, gua ikot laki gua..giliran beliau katanya..tak dapat nak ajak korang datang umah gua..tp kalau kate sampai Paris tu, roger2 la gua, umah gua dekat je kat bangunan sebelah eiffel tower tu....untung2 bleh rasa macarons gua

Laporan Hell Week setakat ini...

memang apa neraka la minggu ni gua pun tak tau. ni la die cabaran yang gua kena tempuhi dalam menggapai cita-cita gua sebagai seorang guru yang berwibawa...ciss pe kelam sangat ayat gua..ni mesti efek minggu neraka ni..


gua lapo..malam semalam gua tdo  tak bangun sahur, pagi tadi free je bangun lambat...gua rasa cam baru first time pose je..namun nasib baik gua masih mampu mengekang nafsu makan, minum, mahupun mengawan gua...


cepatlah esok. bas gua 7.15 malam. yeaah baby!

malam semalam dan manchester united.

gua masih kecewa tak dapat tengok bola semalam...padahal dah elok dah gua keluar ngan member gua pukul 2 pagi semalam..haa jangan nak pandai-pandai label gua perempuan tak bermaruah plak..gua walaupun ayat brader-brader, gua ni perempuan Melayu campuran Minangkabau dan Arab serta Banjar terakhir tau tak....


dalam pukul 1 pagi, perut beruang gua ni tiba-tiba lapo..so gua takde pilihan selain keluar untuk mencari sesuap nasik...maggi2 gua dah tak layan dah, ade je dok tersorok dalam almari gua..time-time camni gua memang eksyen sikit..


gua dressap baik punye untuk pergi kafe....namun buat gua sakit hati..kafe tutup..hampeh tul..semalam elok je bukak..camne ni nak nege ke tak..ingin je gua mengketuk pintu dapur kafe tu..suruh dia buatkan nasik goreng..gua mengidam...


nasib baik lah ada yang senasib dengan gua..so gua ngan member gua ni ambil keputusan untuk keluar...last2 makan kat subedoh je....gua beli nasik kandar...member gua selera omputeh, die beli mekdi..member gua yang lagi sorang ni, si Agnes, walaupun cina, die tengah selera indian, so die beli thosai..sedap la kami mencekik pagi tu..


haa sebenarnya gua bukan nak cite pasal semalam kami makan apa..gua tau korang mesti terliur punye..


gua saje nak cakap pasal bola semalam...gua nak bikin member2 gua panas sket..contohnya Avyduff Ballack dan Agnes Lampard..gua tak tengok pun..gua ajak member2 gua dorang taknak..sorang minat Liverpool..sorang Chelsea..memang tak la kan...gua  follow bola tu dari member gua sampai first half je..dia kasi ulasan baik punya...tapi sebab time tu member gua cakap 0-0, gua malas nak continue...time second half, gua dengan dah kekenyangannye, umpama orang mengantok disorong bantal busuk..melelapkan mata gua..


baru gua tau tadi MU memang 3-0....stai arr MU..dan baru gua taw jugak pemain banyak yang muda-muda sekarang and terror2..welbeck la cleverley la de gea la..sekor pun gua tak kenal..macam rooney tu ok gak la dulu sekampung ngan gua..yang baru-baru ni mungkin dari kampung sebelah agaknye...nampaknya dah lama gua tak follow scene football ni sejak masuk maktab....










tp pemain MU yang mude2 ni kureng hensem dari dulu la, except chicarito maybe, babyface!haha

*typical football babe*

22.ogos.2011.

gua penat gile hari ini..balik-balik dari kelas gua dah plan baik punye nak membuta atau berhibernasi sekejap (hibernasi bukan makan nasi)....cuaca pulak sedap..hujan2 gerimis macam lagu Ziana Zain...tapi gua terpaksa siapkan lesson plan gua...sian gua..kecik2 dah kene tulis lesson plan..kejadahnye!! die ingat lesson plan ni macam karangan 120 pkataan dak darjah enam ke? atau karangan "aku sebuah basikal?" cikgu2 kat skolah je buat lesson plan paham tak..gua baru first year..kasi can la der..


ekceli.....dari hari jumaat lagi lecturer da kasi kije tu..die nak tgok pukul 4.30 hari ini..tapi tu la kan gua pukul 2 baru terkebil-kebil terhegeh-hegeh nak start...


bukan apa, last-last minit ni baru idea mencurah-curah bagai chocolate mencurah ke ladang gandum..jadiklah coco crunch..


akhirnya...setelah gua goreng2 sebagaimana Synyster Gates menggoreng guitar beliau dan Chef Wan menggoreng nugget cap Ayamas.....gua siapkan jugak lesson plak gua..baik punya gua buat, tunjuk kat lecturer, lumrah hidup la beliau tak puas hati ngan gua....siap ajak gua repeat lagi...gangster sungguh lecturer gua ni...


nak dijadikkan citer partner in crime gua Bangbil PerotBuncit tak datang plak...cila kak betul...gua paham Bangbil Pb mesti tido tu..gua tawu sangat....gua pun selalu camtu gak...so tahan la gua tadah telinga dengan bebelan lecturer gua tu..lecturer gua bab bebelan2 ni memang bleh menang English Premier League..


apa pun gua penat dan malam ni gua nak tgok bola..MU lawan spurs katenye...tapi mak gua tak kasi so gua ikot je laa...kang mak gua sumpah gua jadik oven plak kang..macam gua tak taw, nak bako kueh raya ler tu..


p.s. skendel aku si alex ferguson tu mesti jem ngan aku punye..die dah setting dah nak suh ak jadi penasihat die untuk taktik2 game malam karang...aku bukan ape alex....ak xnak jadik oven berjenama panasonic.

buke pose hari ini!

hari ni aku depressed sikit dan bila aku depressed aku taknak membebankan halwa telinga member2 aku dengan kisah depressi aku..dari dengar luahan aku baik dorang dengar lagu raya..lagu black dog bone ke ..aman shah ke..


hari ini sepanjang hari aku sibok ngadap laptop serta assignment presentation aku...pe riak sangat ayat..bukan ape assignment ni memang susah dan aku yang tidak begitu bijak ni kene amik masa lebih sikit buat..aku kecik2 tak minum enfagrow..nak wat gone..


busy2, sampai aku tertido hingga jam 6..penat kepala otak aku berfikir..member2 aku ajak aku pergi tesco untuk berbuka namun kemalasan melanda aku..bukan apa, hari-hari pergi tesco, mau pokai aku, makan je dah nak dekat 10 hengget....


dah tu aku jenis demand lebih, xnak makan nasik kandar, kepsi atau mekdi seme tu...aku dok teringin nak makan gulai tempoyak opah aku buat...yang ada taugeh2 kasar punya..tesco penang konfem2 la takde kann...


so pada jam tujuh aku pun dikejutkan dengan berita yang kafe kat maktab ni bukak...kafe maktab aku ni ikot suke die je..nak bukak, bukak, xnak bukak tak bukak..jem otak aku..kalau mcd wat cmni pun mcd bleh bankrup...nak nege wat la cara nak nege..


so aku pun apa lagi pegi la ke arah kafe yang agak lengang itu..lega hati aku...namun yang demikian waktu aku order..brader tu bleh selamba yaya je kata pada aku yang aku kena tunggu lagi sejam..pehh gila ke.ingat ak nak buka waktu maghrib ke isyak haa? waktu tu tahap kesabaran aku pada tahap maksima, lantas aku menuju ke dapur, menempik ke tukang masak sambil menterbalikkan kuali yang sedang panas tu..huh puas hati aku lepas tu....brader order tu teros takut nak cari pasal dengan aku dah....budak2 non-muslim yang tengah makan kat situ teros tapau makanan diorang, cabut dari situ...yang tengah menjamu selera tu teros terbelahak2 dan tercekik kene jelingan maut aku...


aku kalau bab makan-makan ni jangan men gile beb..aku ni muke cute hati legend *muntah*


lepas permintaan nasi goreng pattaya aku di kafe tak kesampaian, aku mendapat ilham untuk balik bilik dan masak..nasib baik aku ni pandai masak..uwan aku pun ada menurunkan resipi zaman silam adabi pada aku..cantiklah...aku teros menyelongkarkan maggi dalam almari aku dengan tak berlengah lagi...sayup2 kedengaran azan berkumandang...


maggi berperisa asam laksa tu pandang slek je kat aku, sambil berkata,


"tu la ko syu, dulu belagak dengan aku..."


memang puake la ko maggi...aku pun beristifar..nasib baik la kejap lagi aku bakal mencekik ko wahai maggi...


p.s. sedihnye buke sorang-sorang..jauh dari family dan member-member...rasa macam dok perantauan je..huhuhu

Hell week

aku dapat tawu pasai hell week ni dari tempoyok. hell week ni adalah sejenis latihan asas untuk UN Navy, di mana dalam satu minggu ni dorang kena latihan kaw punya. Tarak kasi can wa cakap sama lu. KL Gangster dan rakan sama naik mereka, Justin Bieber pun tak kena latihan camni. Dalam minggu ini dorang kene berenang dengan kaki/tangan diikat, berendam dalam lumpur selama seharian, berlumba untuk mendapatkan makanan dan pelbagai lagi yang mungkin tak dapat dijalankan oleh orang biasa cam kita yang banyak menghabiskan tenaga dan membakar lemak ini..


inilah yang sedang berlaku pada aku..cuma latihan yang dikerahkan tidak menguji fizikal namun banyak melibatkan keadaan mental aku yang sampai sekarang diragui kesahihannya. minggu ini aku ada presentation baik punya untuk Madam Suhu..dia punya demand laa hai, Lisa Surihani pun tak demand cam dia. Belum lagi pasal test Phonology hari khamis ni..aku satu kejadah hape tak baca lagi..dah la dalam kuliah aku sedap merancang masa depan dengan cara berangan. memang seminggu ni aku tak tido le gamaknye...waaaa camne nak raya dengan eyebag bagai...sape nak ngorat aku time Raye pasni...huh pe haram ayat


tapi aku redha sebab penderitaan ini hanyalah setika....hujung minggu hari jumaat aku dah boleh cabut balik rumah....raya dah dekat woi...boleh la aku enjoi bersama seisi keluarga! *sambil membuat lompat bintang* namun yang demikian..walau tak raya pun aku suka balik rumah, sebab walaupun rumah aku bukan rumah banglo dan sebagainya..namun rumah aku tetap best..malahan lebih best dari genting highland atau taman tema yang lain...dan yang paling penting umah aku takde hell week hell week ni..


p.s. korok mung, (ayat member aku Anwar), lepas Raye lagi banyak mende nak kene anta, apekejadahnya nak enjoy2..

sumbak masalah tido

kalau nak ikot kronologi sem-sem, sem ini masalah tido aku semakin menjadik-jadik. entah kenapa, aku semakin susah nak tido malam. mula bercinta le tu. yelah, makan tak kenyang (tak kenyang pun, nasik tambah gak), mandi tak basah (hostel xde air pun basah je) dan tido tak lena. jadual tido malam aku sekarang dah bercelaru, time orang len tido, aku bejage jadi jaga, time orang lain bejage, aku bejage, tapi kalau dapat tido, hostel tebakar pun belum tentu aku sedar...

katil dan anak-anak patung ni pun tak leh membangkitkan selera tido aku di malam hari...mungkin cadar tu thread count die sikit sangat....tido tak sedap....bak kata ijat coursemate aku..

ade la beberapa hari yang lepas di bulan Ramadhan ini, aku boleh berjaga sepanjang malam nak buat assignment, bercawan-cawan Nescafe 3 in 1 aku tegok. Nasib baik member paling kacip aku Agnes sponsor aku nescafe. Nak harapkan rumet aku..hmmpph..susu Anmum ade laa...

Selepas sahur, aku teros siap-siap nak pergi kelas. Lecturer aku plak bukan main siap buat kelas pagi hari tu, start pukul 6.45, da la semalam aku bersengkang mata menyiapkan keje dia, ni nak ngadap muka dia plak. time tu aku tak ngantok lagi, efek2 kaffein nescafe free masih ada....aku cube konsentrate dalam kelas....mungkin dapat membantu pertumbuhan minda bak kata iklan susu dalam tibi..

lepas tu ade plak perhimpunan.haih aku memang pantang perhimpunan2 ni, nak je aku ponteng macam biasa, tapi ade plak sek-sek manetah dok jaga gate kat depan tu, cheesecake betol, ingat ni skolah ke, da macam pengawas plak tu, ingin sahaja aku menyumpah seranah namun mengenangkan bulan pose, niat hanya tinggal niat. sumbat, sumbat.

bila perhimpunan dah habeh, brader tu kaw punye sembang pasal dadah sampai 2 jam, aku pun balik bilik. kelas dalam sejam lagi, so aku decided untuk baring2. nak makan takleh pose kan. 

bile aku bukak mata..da puko1 satu...kelas 10.30 aku missed free camtu je...terkejut cipan aku, sambil membayangkan muke lecturer aku. huh. nasib bek ade satu tu je kelas.... mampus aku kalau dia kasi surat amaran ke hape. terbayang la wajah ummi atau ayah menempeleng aku tatkala mendapat surat amaran tersebut. nak je aku call mendapatkan khidmat tele-dera atau talian nur...haha pesial ayat..

akhirnya lecturer tu baik hati, dia suh aku tulih surat cinta ke dia..malas aku..so aku biar je la dulu...orang sekarang fenomena online..kad raya pun x anto..ni kan plak surat..

tapi citer malam semalam lagi syiokk ohh..tragedi di malam hari yang memang best..

ayda dengan ieqa ajak aku pegi buke ngan dorang kat tesco..member yang lain ntah ke pelusuk dunia mana, bukan nak ajak aku, yela aku tahu aku sape..pe tacing ayat mintak penampor...

aku malas nak g, rasa cam da ngantok-ngantok, tambahan pula perut aku sedikit sakit... jam menunjukkan pukul 6, so aku decided nak tido jap, maghrib nanti konfem2 la aku terbangun, bajet aku.

pada jam bape tah terdengar ketukan pintu di pintu aku..takkan tingkap kot..aku terbangun. aku terpikir dah berapa lama aku tido. pastu aku teringat bahawa pagi ini pagi sabtu, takde kelas..aku nak tido balik, tapi aku bangun dan tengok jam kat laptop aku yang masih bernyawa.

12.30PM

sempat lagi la aku nak g celebrate bday member aku, sebab kami da plan nak mencekik pizza reramai pukol 12. aku naik bilik member aku, pelik gak, asal satu hostel aku gelap gelitap, cuma dua tiga bilik sahaja yang terang. aku pun pergi bilik member aku, farah.

farah plak baru pas bergaduh ngan senior kami..aku malas nak cite..aku neutral ground.

farah cam pelik tengok aku sumbak semacam je.

"mana birthday celebrationnye?"

aku tanya dalam keadaan mamai-mamai. farah tengok aku dengan pandangan ultrasound untuk check baby-baby beliau.

"baru pukoi 12.30 kan? birthday lily kan?"

farah mula lihat aku dengan pandangan serba risau. aku melabuhkan punggung di katil farah. aku mencapai handphone farah yang berteknologi torch light itu.

5.45 pagi.

syaitan. lama gila aku tido. mengenangkan malam kelmarin aku tak tido sebab "buat kuih raya" dengan amy, siang pun bejage, tak hairanlah.

tapi semalaman member-member aku mencari aku, ingat aku MIA la, dah mati la, kene kidnapped la, pe bende la. missed calls sampai puluh2. dorang ketuk pintu bagai nak gila...huhu..Rasa bersalah aku pada diorang...nasib baik raya dah dekat..mungkin sempat aku mintak maap..

p.s. terngiang-ngiang kata-kata brader ceramah dadah tu..orang hisap ice ni..kalau tido..jenuh orang kejut, tendang sepak terajang pun tak bangun. terasa i taw. 


p.s. lagi. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY.

aku da beli mende ni kat tesco..hege die 2.90 je kat living caben..korg jgn beli kat kedai  5 hengget, kat situ hege die 5 hengget..pakai mende ni rumet pun tak berani kejut..
tapi....kalau pakai cmni pun takleh tdo...

   ........aku kene nyanyi lagu i need a doctor la gamaknye..

what i'm reading....zzzz

the last book that I read was Catcher in the Rye. 


no kidding, just finish them couple of weeks ago. Naturally I'm quite crazy bout the goddamn book, it killed me. 


Anyways, today I'm reading another book.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

I know those kinds of book are so not me, but a friend chucked it my way saying I could use some of the advice there.


Hurm.


*reading*


it says that it's a superb guide for understanding male-female relationship.


nice enough. 


it also says right at the blurb that it helps men and women to understand each other better. 


could be just the one i'm looking for. i'm so gonna figure you out, darling. 


and it is an invaluable tool for developing deeper and more satisfying relationship.


alright good bye silly blog, hello book!

The greatest feeling when you suddenly recalled a song you heard growing up

I grew up with Hitz FM.  Since I was as young as 11, I guess, up till the time when Jason Lo was one of the announcer, and JJ & Rudy were the morning crew.


Up until the very day, thou I must say the lines in the college sucks a lot.

You know the feeling when the radio plays a song that you really like and you sit there all wondering what's the title and all. 

Thank goodness for the Internet, for I found the song that I used to love a lot. 

JC Chazev's Until Yesterday

(Yeah)

I found a letter on my dresser last night
I've got a baby on the way
It made me suspicious of another guy ‘cause
You couldn’t tell me to my face
And So I ask to find out if I was right
That’s when your eyes filled up with rage
Nine months go by the baby’s not my blood type
Look at the mess you’ve made

You know I love you so much
girl I would never hurt you

[chorus]
(But) If you play with fire then you’ll get burned
When will you learn now it’s your turn
Remember all the lies you sold me
Made me feel so sad and lonely
Now your fairytale’s unfolding
Nothing left to say ‘cause I loved you all the way
Until yesterday (oooh), Oh until yesterday

Oh well, Damn, well can you help me understand
Why you would keep me while you’re sexing with another man?
Or was it just a one-night stand?

Or was it something far more planned than what we had ‘cause…

You know I love you so much, I know your daddy taught you better

[chorus]

You know I love you so much… ohhhh
Your daddy shoulda taught you better

(But) If you play with fire then you’ll get burned
When will you learn now it’s your turn
Remember all the lies you sold me
Made me feel so sad and lonely
Now your fairytale’s unfolding
Nothing left to say ‘cause I loved you all the way Oh!
Until Yesterday

(Repet Chorus)

I loved you all the way ‘til yesterday
Remember all the lies you sold me
Made me feel so sad and lonely
Now your fairytale’s unfolding
Nothing left to say, nothing left to say ‘cause I loved you all the way
All the way until yesterday

je'adore

Cara membuat Pavlova. (wajib try di rumah!!)

tajuk post ini macam tak kena je dengan tema blog aku ini......


walaupun pada hakikatnya blog aku ini memang tak pernah ada tema. 


Anyways, hari ini hari yang indah sangat-sangat sebab cuti dan aku for some unknown reason terlintas untuk menggoogle cara membuat Pavlova. apa guna Internet takkan untuk berfacebook je kot? lagi pun, kalau dah pandai nanti, untung-untung boleh buat kat insan tersayang di hari raya nanti *nada gedik*


now. what on earth is Pavlova?


Sejenis dessert rupenye. aih mana la aku tahu, ,macarons pun aku tak pernah makan lagi, nak pavlova pulak. apa itu macarons? ala google la sendiri pemalas. 

masalahnya kenapa la Pavlova? ni mesti sebab kemaruk belajar nama-nama tokoh physiologist cam Ivan Pavlov time uni dulu.


lepas ni kuar plak nama biskut or kuih Gagne, Ewell, Bandura. Bf Skinner dan Vygotsky pun boleh.


macam-macam.








p.s. sebut-sebut Pavlov & co, teringat aku punya presentation untuk Madam Suhu dengan Nabil next week. Sorry Bel aku terdatang lambat discussion--penyakit tido, hehehe. 


p.s post ini kureng kene mengena dengan tajuk. untuk cara membuat pavlova sila klik link ini.

Of jerseys and football.

someone likes it at least. 

it's got my name at the back, with my lucky number 15. Why 15? Because all the other numbers I like--like 7 and 17 are taken. I like number 15 anyways.  And not like I mind having the same numbers as other players, but then I guess someone would. And 15 is a good number, my man Nemanja Vidic wears it for Manchester United. 

Oh, and the football season is here again, the BPL and all. I fancy watching the games, following the league and all but you know there's no astro in my residential hostels--and heck as if I have all the time to watch the games. 

Not a very fanatic fan anymore, one might say.

Never mind, at least I'm keeping track with the games and all, I'll have the fixtures schedule printed on my room wall. I'll keep track with who's on top (our Manchester United of course, eh darling?)

And right after Raya I'll be back to watching live football, the Institute League --iLeague, rooting for my favourite team Kucing Malaya. 

I root for it because it's the team most of my coursemates--Jazli, Arep, Hazwan, Dean and Nabil-- play for, and it's awesome, with it's clean, defeatless record.  They've been thrashing all the other teams 5-nil, 6-nil, even 10-nil. The best part is it's all "nil", meaning 0, meaning they didn't concede any goals. Ball possession was always like 80% on their side, they have this brilliant strikers--my classmate Jazli, you should see how fast he is and how he dribbles the ball and all. Their defence is nice too and their goalie deserves praises although for most of the time he is kind of free, hahaha. On top of that I think Kucing Malaya has a nice, lucky kind of name.

Alright enough of the football talk. 

i look fat. this is what you get from watching football all evening and not you going for a run. huhuhu


p.s. I feel like a WAG, haha.