schu will be loved

and schu will be loved..
schu will be loved...oh oh oh


hey there, assalamualaikum. why, have you noticed my not-so-bright-n-cheerful tone too?

i'm sad. =(


ok i know that most of my previous entries have been somewhat cheerful, happy, funny, and CRAP.heee. but now i'm so in no mood for that.


i woke up in the morning feelin like...i dont know?
it all started up with a dream, a dream which i woke up smilin at..and...then, i cried.

it was somewhere i cudnt really recall,
 i was wearing this long ala-gypsy skirt and a nice blue tank top.
a pair of nice flip flop and shades, one pair of awesome shades.
 i felt sweet and beautiful, and friggin happy,
 which sorta reminded me when i woke up that
 IT HAS BEEN AGES SINCE THE LAST TIME I FELT THAT WAY.

it was a very very beautiful day.
i meant, the sun was just perfect. he brought me to a beach.

*oh so there's a BOY?*

hurm, a boy.

it was pretty much a dream that reminded me of ol' good time. in my previous relationship my ex and I hit the beach a lot. Penangites, what do u expect.
hey, not to say in this post that i miss him or want him to come back; NO.

i let him go a long time ago. i came to the fact that both of us neither love each other anymore, and that spell has long gone and that ezyme reaction in my brain (dad's definition of love) is somewhat over.  

and after that i felt good. happy. free. liberated.
or do i?

i feel like i've been pretending. i mean, i'm lucky he left me. very. but then i miss that sense of feeling of being LOVED again. i know i shouldnt jump into a relationship, and that i should give myself some time to LOVE myself again.

its just that, i miss all those moments. all those moments of being loved again,. hearin someone say he loves you and he misses you (and really means it) and not being able to sleep cuz he hasnt called...someone who text you and say, thank u love, and when u ask why, he'd say,


"You make my Sun shines"

and havin someone to spend ur tedious weekends with...driving around endlessly and getting lost with...someone u say "alaaa" when u both have to go home after a fantastic date...

i miss that feeling. A LOT.

and from the look of it, i dont think that the feeling is gonna come to me again in the near future.


i'm tired already.
i'm tired of looking and searching and waiting.
i'm tired of loving people who dont love me back.
and i'm tired of people loving me and me unable to love them back.
but still
i want Love.
Love whom I love and loves me, too.


where are you?

and she will be loved..
she will be loved oh oh oh..lalallalalalalaa