a yellow rose.

It was a busy night. She had assignments due the next day, and no thanks to her laziness and her very hectic social life, she kept it till the very eleventh hour. That moment it occurred to her that if she had kept herself busy since the very beginning she would've finish the assignment by then. 

And she would be so busy, she wouldn't let her heart and mind to think about him.

Him. 

Thoughts of him lingered around her mind all day long. Almost everything reminded her of him. The places they went, the food they ate, the books they read, the stories they told each other. She didn't love him, or so she said, but she could never deny that they were very much attached. No, she was very much attached to him.

Came the maelstrom one day. Things were complicated and to not perpetuate it they disavowed each other, silently, which made everything all the more painful for her. She tried to make amendments, not wanting to jeopardise their friendship. A yellow rose symbolizing what's left in them-the friendship-was far from reciprocated. And things ended just that. 

It was easy at first. She could take it. She could handle it, she told herself. Then the drugs were wearing off, and came the withdrawal syndrome, where she started yearning for him the way a junkie wants his drug.

She wanted to see him. Not his picture. Not anything that reminds her of him. Just him. Not to meet him either. Just her seeing him, and him seeing her. She wanted to see his face when he sees her again. Oftentimes, they say, you don't miss the person, only the routine. She did miss the routine, but she wanted to see him, too. Does that mean she miss him?

But he was gone forever.

So the night, after days of avoiding him in the virtual world, after even one small photograph of him made her heart ache and reminded her of the time she had with him, after refraining from reminiscing "those-were-the-days" moments, she couldn't take it no more.

and despite her assignments and projects, she said to herself,

"and I just want to see."

She clicked on an image of him and sighed at the sight of a man who promised her so much and brought such joy to her and broke her heart. It was a masochistic act, for she stared at the picture of him smiling, and her heart disintegrating.

Rest assured,the sight would soon be indifferent to her. Knowing her, she's resilient enough. She'll soon get over it. Till then, she'll live with the heartbreak.