i am in the most CRI.TIC.AL stage

mdm rock, my Language Development lecturer (my fave in the whole planet), always wanted us to be so called critical in our thinking..blah blah blah..metacognitive blah blah blah which i can't really digest..but good news for Mdm Rock, cuz if CRItICAL'S what she wants, thats precisely what I am now, today, this moment, CRITICAL...

*beep beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*
am i dead yet?
it sounds like...
*beep beep beep beep*
oh, okay, i'm okay now..

life support machine saves my life. okay, maybe not literally.

hidup lagi rupanya. ntah la. there's gotta be more to life than this, and i guess that’s my life support machine..somethin else in life other than havin him near

he's gone

thats all can i say

he's gone, but not for good i pray

yesterday he asked if we really cud work it out

why, he's gone..

i went out..konon2nya to look for peace..lama dah x keluar and the last time was..with him..

aih.

let's look at the list of people i miss
1. Ummi. but i went home last weekend. and i can't afford anotha trip home

2. Him. now i wanna go gugugaga. Ok, ok, He's like, on the other side of M'sia
(sapa ntah..xdak plak gambaq dia..ahahahahha)
3. My bestie Christina Lim. In Australia. Okay.
4. My bestie during MATric...Fairuzzzzz...

so suddenly when i was missin number 1-3 like crazy i was like, EUREKA!after considering some factors like..the distance and the cost and plus Fairuz is still in KB, i said, lets go check Fairuzzzzz out!! yippie yippie yippie..gumbira bukan main..besides, lama dah x p KB and matrik..oh my matrik..the place I first fell...in love..muahh muahhhahahahah

goin to matric.
that, u and I, wud later learnt, as a mistake.


the journey to Kepala Batas mmg jauh giler..bile naik bus rapid larh~plus, from penang plak tu..mmg jauh..


from a bus to jetty and then naik ferry kuar dr island ni n then naik plak rapid p Kailan..perggh memang trsgt jauh..brmcm2 tempat i lalu..akhirnya after approximately an hour..sampai gak at Kailan. Dumbo me..blajaq kat KMPP pnya lama..kailan pun xtaw katne..well..that time i was single..xde tman nak merayap..ahaha

ha...ni la dia tmpt yg aku p..walaupun tem aku kat situ ak x perasan pon ada benda ni..ada ke?

cuak giler..felt lost, thank gudness the driver baik giler..bagi tau which bus to take to matric..heee~~

when i arrived in matric, my heart felt...heavy. its like i’m seein it for the first time.


 I went in and saw the place I first met him. The place we first met. The place I first laid my eyes on him...(read my previous post)

i felt sth wich is entirely unspeakable and undescribable of.

I felt like cryin.

I can almost picture him there. In a dark blue shirt i can vividly remember. Thats (one of) his favourite colour.

So i felt bad. Worse. And got worsen when i thought i smell somethin. Him. Boy, have i gone out of my mind. But it really smelt of him. I know. The smell lingered and then kissed me.
the atmosphere. I felt him in the atmosphere. I felt that he was there. I turned around and searched for him, wishin that he’s really there but to no avail, he wasn’t.
He’s in PAHANG, schu. P-A-H-A-N-G. I told myself over and over again.

Thank goodness Fairuzzz took me out. I cudnt stay long. I might faint. I might break down and cry.
Worse still,
i might scream in hysteric and get caught by the security and banned from menjejakkan kaki (set foot) there again. Boy. That wud have been awful. Really awful.

I chose to go back straight home selepas itu. Malas nak hang lama2, nnt brtambah parah.

Otw balik: WORSE. Rasa cam nak nangis dalam bus. Missin him like crazy. Wanting him in Penang again.

Boy, I am in the most critical stage.

Be strong, Schuger Tough Candy. Kau kan Kualiti, Mesra dan Progresif (x pasai2)

hehehe :p