This One From Me

Anis.

She’s like an older sister to me.

Yes I know that makes you feel old Anis, but let’s face it: Agnes will always be the bff and Sam and I are tag team and you, you’re the older sister.

That’s because you don’t tell everything to an older sister, until that everything screwed up.

For the record, I don’t have a sister.

It all started when I added Anis on Facebook, you know, because she was one of our super-duper seniors who just got back from UUM. Well, I had to add her anyways, because I was adding all the other male ones—and it would be too obvious that I was trying to do a final year senior. For some unknown reason those final year male seniors were so hot, they were almost as hot as the new female juniors. Ha-ha, not funny.

Then, on Facebook, Anis and I talked about some books—yes books, being the bookworms that we were—and I agreed to lend her this book. She woke up late and was in a towel rushing to the bathroom when she first noticed me. It was like love at first sight I guess.

Me? I didn’t notice her at all,

I mean, even in the towel she was no Eva Mendes you know.

Then we got close. I bored her with stories of my very boring love lives, she excited me with hers, we talked a lot, we went back from our hometown together, had breakfasts, watched football, ate cucoq, gossiped, bitched about the people around us, went out at night, drove aimlessly around the island, played boring card games at Seagate, went out a lot, stayed up studying (more Facebooking), went for facial treatments, I braided her hair...blah blah blah and the list just goes on.

We even became stalkers. I’m talking Facebook-stalking and real life we-drove-around-your-neighbourhood-checking-out-your-house kind of stalking.

Actually, it hurts me that I have to write all that in past tense.

The truth is, actually, is that I never really open up to her on some stuffs. Not that I don’t trust her. Not that I mind her knowing. But maybe because we had such a good time, I don’t want to spoil the moment of bliss. Maybe because I was looking to her as a sister, and you don’t really tell everything to an older sister until things begin to fall apart and screw up. And older sister is always a best friend.

And that day when I texted her, it was because I screwed up. It was because I suddenly realised that I have become a mess.

Now here’s the part where I don’t know what else to write and I don’t know why I write this in the first place. Anyway, all I’m saying is that I appreciate her in my life (this is sappy).

I kinda like it a lot when she said we were best friend, and that Sam thinks I am almost like her. I mean, I’d love to be a unique individual and what not but when someone say you’re like a person who is kinda cool, you kinda like it too.  

what a soppy post lol

Study Week

ALL I KNOW IS I'M GOING TO DIE IF I FAIL THIS SEMESTER.

I NEED TO STUDY.

LIKE REALLY STUDY, BEFORE I FLUNK:

1. PHONOLOGY

2. ELT

3. LEARNER AND LEARNING ENVIRONMENT

4.CHILDREN LITERATURE

DAMN I WISH EVERY CLASS FEELS LIKE A FORM 3 SCIENCE CLASS.

YOU KNOW, THE TIME WHEN WE LEARNT THE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM.

#perlukahcapslock?

Only God Can Judge Me Now.

"Only God can judge me now"

Tupac Shakur said it and died.

There was this book that I read called Washington Wives by Maureen Deen. I was in Form 2. It's not really the kind of thing that people read when they were 14, but I picked it up from the shelf at my Gran's. 

It's a good book anyway. Politics, love, sex, scandals. The rat race of life. 

There was this character that I really liked. Her name is Sinclaire. She comes from a poor background---a broken one really. She doesn't know who her father is, and apparently, neither does her mother Ruby. She was born a very very beautiful baby--the most beatiful one the head nurse ever seen. She grows up with in a diner her mother works at. She also grows up gorgeously and beautifully and later became close to the "rich and famous" society in America. 

The thing about Sinclaire is that she is never ashamed of who she is. She is never shy to admit that she is an illegitimate child, let alone feel embarrassed or i don''t know,  has low self esteem about it. When someone mentioned a word she doesn't understand she'd just ask. She isn't afraid if someone is judging her, or whatever. And though she is with the "rich and famous" she does not pretend. 

That's pretty cool.

Many of us pretend and hide and lie and many of us do that because we are so scared of people's judgement. We are so scared of what people may say, or even think.

And exactly why shouldn't we be? We judge people too. We talk about people. Even when what they do don't in a slightest bit have anything got to do with us. 

Let us all change for a bit, eh, for goodness sake? Stop talking about people, stop judging. Yeah, they make mistakes. But so do you, right? So screw them. It's their life. Go take care of your own business. 

And stop caring for what people think, or say. They'll talk and they'll think and they'll judge but all that don't make who you are. Even if it does it only make you stronger.